Still feeling beat up, but working again. The sick feeling is slowly receding. This has been the most strange sickness I’ve ever had. Not the worst, just the weirdest. But part of me wonders if the weirdness is fueled by the brand of COVID and the fact that I’m now a real part of this whole thing.
Whatever the reasons and feelings, etc… I am thankfully getting better and am hoping for full strength tomorrow or the day after. I’m sick of being sick.
I’m actually happy that I got it. Natural immunity for the win.
I’ve been feeling pretty sick for the past couple of days. Last Wednesday afternoon, I was in process of having a really great day of work when suddenly around 4:30 pm I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and felt pretty bad, fever, dull headache, slight sore throat, backaches, legs hurt a little, and a dry cough.
Now here I am a few days later, I think the fever finally broke a couple of days ago (Friday night into Saturday) and all the aches have gone away other than some lingering neck aches. I still feel pretty fatigued and half-sick but half-better. Strange feeling.
Also, about 90% of my smell and taste just vanished Saturday afternoon which was weird but expected. It’ll return at some point, I think.
So far it’s been annoying, but not really that bad. The most difficult part has been not feeling that bad but feeling so fatigued that it’s difficult to focus on work. I just want to lay down and rest.
So that’s what I’m doing a lot of the past few days. 12 hours of sleep at night and an hour nap during the day. 10,000mg of vitamin C and 20,000IU of vitamin D as well as my normal regimen of magnesium and zinc is what I’ve been taking. I’ll win and I’ll feel better soon. I might be feeling better by the time this blog post is published because I’m writing it last Saturday, Nov. 6th and the improvement in the way I've felt has been progressing steadily upward.
Even on difficult days, do your best to show up. You don’t have to get a lot done–in fact, maybe you get nothing done. But try to show up and keep good habits intact. Difficult days don’t last so don’t let them turn your life into a difficult mess.
If we can’t walk away from costs that have gotten out of hand, we commit the old “throwing good money after bad” mistake.
It’s not just money that gets sunk. Time, effort, personal pride, etc… can all get poured into a passion project and we let it get too personal and never let go when it’s time to let it go.
Let sunk costs be sunk costs. You can’t raise the Titanic, but you can drown yourself trying to dive down and lift it back up from the deep.
You can approach business conversations or negotiations as a battle, or you can approach them as a process of discovery. We want to learn and understand as much as we can about the other side and then use that to strike a mutually beneficial agreement.
One way to settle yourself down before negotiation is to focus on the other person and spend your time looking at the issue from their point of view.
Then, when the talking begins, you slow down and let them speak. Even if you think you know what they are about to say, don’t say it for them. 1. You might be wrong. 2. You’re not saving anyone any time or effort. 3. You’re only going to make them feel like you’re not listening and you don’t care that much about what they have to say.
When you let other people talk, you help them feel listened to and you allow them to reveal information which they might not have revealed otherwise.
Reframe negotiations as "information discovery sessions" and seek to understand the other side by having empathy and letting them talk about what they know/feel–while you sit and listen.
I was multitasking. How do you even multitask while putting on a shirt? But I found a way and I fully pulled my shirt on backward without realizing it.
Somehow something I’ve done a million times in my life, I messed up because I wasn’t focused on it. Multitasking is an energy suck and a time-waster.
That’s my little multitasking observation for the day. Thanks for listening.
I suppose if you play your cards perfectly, are trustworthy, and have some desperation in your counterpart, maybe you could convince that broke man to give you $1 million.
So, the real goal behind effective negotiation is to come as close to achieving your ends as possible and this is done by seeking to understand the other side and gain as much information as you can in the time you have. The other step is to use that information to help both sides come to a happy agreement–but hopefully with some advantage to you (as long as it is an end ethically gained, that is).
The information will tell you what you can get. If you’re trying to get a million dollars from a family that has about $1500, there isn’t much you can convince them of. It’s impossible for them to send you one million dollars. Finding out that limitation will inform you in a way that helps resolve the negotiation suitably.
It’s interesting how difficult it is to genuinely not care about what other people think about your decisions. On a certain level, that’s a very good thing. We don’t want to turn into heartless, self-centered, blocks of ice.
However, we should understand what we want to do and why we want to do it and tune out the rest. At least, as much as we’re able.
Simply put, you will achieve nothing of worth in life if you are primarily concerned with the opinions of others.
Be kind, be empathetic, but ruthlessly stick to your path and plan. Fail based on your ideas, not trying to impress everyone else. You'll be much more fulfilled and happy.
Most of us are going too fast. Or rather, we’re trying to go too fast.
That podcast isn’t going to be popular overnight.; you need to commit 18 months to it. Your business isn’t going to shoot to the moon in a fortnight; you need to commit 5 years to it. Your sales pitch doesn’t have to be presented at the speed of sound. Take it easy.
When you try to go too fast, people can see that you’re flying through and it smack of insecurity. When you try to go too fast, people will feel like you aren’t hearing them and they will cease trusting you. When you go too fast, you burn out and become bitterly disappointed by your failures. (Often things that would not be a failure if you just stuck with it for another year, etc…)
Also, take it easy on yourself if you aren’t hitting the kind of goals and achievements that you had hoped at this point–that, too, takes time.
When you slow the process down (no matter what the process), you calm the process down. A calm disposition is much more effective for being warm, friendly, creative, trustworthy, and working in a stress-free mode.
We’re afraid of things that are different. This little bit of information will help you when you create photographs, build user interfaces, share thoughts and videos online, and talk face-to-face with people. Make things as smooth and familiar as possible.
When we’re speaking to somebody, the best way to do this is to repeat what they say to us right back to them.
Not only does it help them to feel comfortable while speaking to us, but it causes them to naturally expand upon what they’re saying while telling them that we are actively listening to what they have to say.
One important note, this technique is something that we need to deploy tactically. If you mimic the exact words of the people around you, they will hate you and kick you out.
However, if you’re interested in creating connections between you and strangers, repeat the things they say right back to them. This technique is also effective with the people in your everyday life as well.
We have two brains, or rather, two ways of processing and reacting to information.
We have our natural mind which causes us to react fast, instinctively, and emotionally.
We also have our rational mind which is slower, more deliberate, and logical/reasonable.
Nearly everybody reacts to questions, suggestions, and critiques with their natural, instinctive, and emotional mind and then a moment later we create a response in our rational mind–which has been affected by the emotional reaction.
This is valuable to understand because if we can affect somebody’s natural, instinctive, and emotional mind–his subconscious response–we can guide his more rational mind to make the decisions that we want him to make. Of course, this could be used for terrible and hurtful things and it’s our responsibility to use a tool like this responsibly and honestly. Negotiation, whether personal or business is a good way to use this. Manipulation for nefarious ends is, well, evil.
But far beyond you or me using this as a tool of “master manipulation” (or whatever), it is most important to understand that we, too respond this way to all kinds of things.
If we can actively and conscientiously work to master our own mind and its response and reaction to things, we can better position our rational mind to make better decisions for us and the people around us. We won’t have a bad and upset emotional mind firing up a “rational” response that seeks revenge or envious reprisals.
We also will better be able to control ourselves in negotiations when the other side is applying pressure to achieve their goals.
Understand how the information thrown at you will affect your decision-making and you can practice making better decisions.
What would happen if we took the time to really examine our genuine motivation behind the way we interact with others?
The things we do, the things we say, the way we feel toward them. All of these things, are we concerned with how we look compared to them? Are we able to congratulate them on new successes or happiness even if we get nothing for ourselves?
Forget about vocalizing a congratulation, are we able to feel genuine happiness inside for them?
Is our motivation kindness or concern for being the top-dog or at least looking like the top-dog?
Kindness lends toward a happy life for you and others. Concern for yourself lends itself to a life of anger, stress, and people having no respect for you.
So, what are our real motivations? Is it possible to work on changing them?
Why do we give value to things people say just because it gets said? Just because somebody says something does not mean it is right and good. Yet we still let these things affect us.
If the person speaking is somebody that we like, we’re practically cult-followers. It’s good because they said it and if that guy we hate says something, it’s by default, wrong.
It’s interesting to watch.
If I am only for myself, who am I? What does that person leave behind when they die? Probably just a feeling of relief for everyone.
Do good to those around you by your example, by the work you do, and by the good, you give back to the people around you.
If you have gray hair in your beard, I don’t ask “why?” when you say something. Grandparents have seen some stuff and their life experience informs decisions and their thought processes in a way that gives them wisdom that youth (younger than 50, but especially younger than 30) simply does not have.
If you have gray hair in your beard, I’ll hold your word in high esteem merely because of that.
As a side note, all food made by grandparents should be good. Other than living, old people have done a lot of cooking. Just like life has informed their thought processes, so it has done to their cooking abilities. It's easier to taste the good in food than in advice (particularly when that advice requires action from you).
No man is easier to deceive than one who is smugly confident of his own sophistication.
So many of us want to be important very badly. When we start to believe we’re important, intelligent, or sophisticated we very often let this consume our decency and humility.
We become self-convinced of our own superiority and hence less patient and more condescending to people around us.
That attitude, when it remains unchecked, will set you up for crushing defeat and shame. When something incorrect slips into your “knowledge circle” and you carry yourself with that same smug arrogance, but you turn out to be wrong.
At that moment, you lose all credibility and trust. Now you’re resented by everyone and we all know you’re wrong as well.
Be careful of how you carry the knowledge you learn and operate with humility.
Your time is too valuable to not show your work. Show it early and show it often. Show the unfinished project and show the derailed project. Show the good stuff and show the bad stuff. Show the stuff you suck at and show the stuff where you’re pretty good.
Before investing your time in a project for eight weeks only to get feedback that it’s all wrong, show that work to the client all along the way.
I’m still trying to figure out the best way to do this in my own business. It can be tricky to explain to a client that the finished project will be much nicer than what you’re showing and have them understand you and be comfortable with that.
High-paying clients may be terrified if you turn in something that is 10% complete after a week. They can’t see the 100% complete artwork and the sketches are scary to see. I think the answer is to be forward about the discomfort they will feel and that you’ll update them every 3-4 days with new status’ so they can watch it be built and offer input and guidance.
If you start showing your work and if the client has confidence in you, they can offer suggestions and pointers to ensure you stay on course with the project before you invest 80 hours only to find out most of that effort was a waste.
I still don’t have the perfect system for sharing creative work with clients early in the process, but I’m working on figuring it out. Feedback is scary, but it’s much less scary when you realize it saves you your valuable time and helps complete projects much sooner than you otherwise would (and with less work, too!)
You simply must show up. But if you show up when people expect you to show up, it’s like doing twice the work.
If they don’t know when to expect you or what to expect from you, they have additional work to do.
Make it easy for your customers. Tell them when you’ll show up and then show up and deliver what they expect. That’s the good stuff.
Things always look so good from the outside. Whether it’s the way we used to be, the things that other people have, or the opportunities all around us. It all looks so good.
However, from inside of the bubble we can find it difficult to be content with what we have. But if we were outside of that bubble (i.e., if we lost everything tomorrow) we’d be incredibly envious of who we are right now. It’s easy to see that from the outside, difficult to see from the inside. Don’t worry about what others have–you only see the outside of that bubble. Comparison is indeed the thief of joy.
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”