Better writing

I’ve been crafting these blog posts for a little over three years at this point. I remember forcing myself to sit down and write the first one. This was the start of something new. I hate obligation, most of all I hate obligation that is foisted onto my shoulders.

That day, I felt like I was undertaking something that I was putting on myself and I wasn’t sure if I would keep writing or fizzle out after a few days. Yet here we are.

It hasn’t been bad, it’s been really good. I’ve committed to something for three years and it’s become part of what I do every day. That makes me happy in a tingles-in-the-chest kind of way. I have proved to myself that I can stick with something for a long period of time.

There is, however still something lacking. My writing is awkward, clumsy, and bland as cardboard very often.

I want to use more colorful language, more expressive words, more unknown vocabulary that might make reading more fun. The content of my writing needs to be grounded in something I can make better and share that with you. I talk too much about myself and stuff I like at the expense of being a better writer. I want to keep writing and I will keep working on becoming a better writer.

Our work doesn’t speak for itself

In one of the books on my shelf, I remember reading the author talking about artists who like to say “my work speaks for itself.” But he keenly points out that our work does not speak for itself.

Sure, maybe you look at something and it looks nice or well-lit, or well-painted, but people connect with your work when they know the story behind the piece. How did you make it? Why did you make it? What were some of the behind the scene challenges? Why did the client want this artwork or photograph?

Our work doesn’t speak for itself so we’d better get out there and start speaking for our art.

Last to walk into the room

Sitting in the hunting stand, the herd of deer moves in. All the does start showing up and then, bringing up the rear and showing up last, you have the majestic buck.

The buck runs the show. The buck shows intelligence and leadership in the way he operates. The females get to eat first, but they also ensure there isn’t danger lurking for him when he shows up.

There is some kind of wisdom in slowing down and not rushing into everything.

Find what you’re good at doing

The secret to adding additional levels of joy to your life is to find what you’re good at doing, use that skill to create something valuable, and give it away. Find what you’re best at doing and give it away.

Don’t compromise

Don’t compromise. Find a way to come to a better deal. Usually, the compromise isn’t what you want and it’s not entirely what the other side wants either. So it ends up being a bad deal.

No deal is better than a bad deal. There are almost always creative ways to make your proposal beneficial for both parties involved. That’s the deal we want to strike. That’s the deal that keeps clients coming back for more and keeps you in business.

Did you finish the job?

Did you finish the job and complete what you planned to do? If so, good. That’s a success. Success isn’t how fast you did it or how difficult it was or how close you came to failing. Success is getting the job done.

It’s up to you and me to work on getting better every day, but in the meanwhile, let’s get stuff done!

A friend to all

Aristotle had it right when he said that a friend to all is a friend to none. It’s something I’ve struggled with all of my life. I over-commit to the number of people I have time for and then I end up keeping up with nobody and a few years later you start wondering where all of your friends went and how you all grew apart.

One loyal friend or two is far more valuable than trying to befriend the world. The only way to have a loyal friend is to be a loyal friend.

Nothing blog post

Just a blog post about nothing. Re-establishing a routine means that this writing got pushed to my least-prioritized task of the day. And I am all out of time now. I’m just writing what is on my mind with no thought of its value. Sorry for wasting your time. This post was all about me.

Small wins get you on track

It’s easy to beat yourself up and let one small setback kill the whole day, or, in my case, being sick for three weeks to kill the final five weeks of the year.

There’s this stupid little voice that says “just relax until the new year starts, THEN you can really get after it.”

That’s my brain saying that. Isn’t my brain supposed to be on my side?

Instead of allowing a setback to become a lifestyle, start small, take steps to get back to normal every day, and even if it’s only a small step you managed to take today, be content with that. It’s the right direction.

The alternative is you beat yourself up over it, you get angry, and you give up even faster tomorrow when you aren’t moving at full speed.

40% of something is better than 100% of nothing. Celebrate the wins even if they’re small!

Sensitive about himself

I’ve had time to reflect on my peers and many of the generation who are just a bit younger than me these past couple of weeks.

They almost all have this characteristic; they’re extra-sensitive about themselves and yet more cruel and heartless toward others than I have ever remembered seeing anytime in my short life.

I spent much of the past couple of weeks trying to remind myself to be a bit less sensitive toward myself (toughen up, kid!) and also less cruel toward everyone else.

It’s simple in theory: render to others the empathy you have for yourself. That’s it. It’s much easier to help people and show kindness when we actively seek to preserve the humanity of our fellow man.

I’m back

I’ve felt better for about a week at this point. But getting back into the swing of things like writing every day and working out have been coming back slowly. I’m back to feeling great again and the past three weeks have been a reminder that I should not take my health for granted.

What did my COVID feel like? Two weeks of headaches and feeling tired.

There was a strange mental aspect of the sickness. For the final several days of being sick, I felt like I was dancing in this space between death and life. It was very strange. Nothing in the world was worth anything to me and I didn’t care about the future or anything other than finding a comfortable spot to lay down and try to rest.

I was always conscious of the fact that I was feeling this way and was able to have a third-person, top-down view of what I was going through, but I felt comfortable living in that space. It was a cold and uninviting world and my outlook was as if I was becoming totally detached from it. Just very bizarre and definitely the worst part of this sickness–for me, that is. I wonder if that's what it feels like when you're getting really old and losing the warmth in their life (literally and/or figuratively.)

It was interesting, but I’m glad to be over it and feeling normal and like I’m in my own comfy home again.

Now it’s a matter of reestablishing my sleep schedule and getting back to work and working harder every day.

One thing every day

Each day, do one thing that advances you toward your goal and makes you a stronger person.

Don’t worry about changing the world in a day. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but each day a few bricks got placed.

Little steps forward every day is the way to success.

Getting better

Still feeling beat up, but working again. The sick feeling is slowly receding. This has been the most strange sickness I’ve ever had. Not the worst, just the weirdest. But part of me wonders if the weirdness is fueled by the brand of COVID and the fact that I’m now a real part of this whole thing.

Whatever the reasons and feelings, etc… I am thankfully getting better and am hoping for full strength tomorrow or the day after. I’m sick of being sick.

I finally got COVID

I’m actually happy that I got it. Natural immunity for the win.

I’ve been feeling pretty sick for the past couple of days. Last Wednesday afternoon, I was in process of having a really great day of work when suddenly around 4:30 pm I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and felt pretty bad, fever, dull headache, slight sore throat, backaches, legs hurt a little, and a dry cough.

Now here I am a few days later, I think the fever finally broke a couple of days ago (Friday night into Saturday) and all the aches have gone away other than some lingering neck aches. I still feel pretty fatigued and half-sick but half-better. Strange feeling.

Also, about 90% of my smell and taste just vanished Saturday afternoon which was weird but expected. It’ll return at some point, I think.

So far it’s been annoying, but not really that bad. The most difficult part has been not feeling that bad but feeling so fatigued that it’s difficult to focus on work. I just want to lay down and rest.

So that’s what I’m doing a lot of the past few days. 12 hours of sleep at night and an hour nap during the day. 10,000mg of vitamin C and 20,000IU of vitamin D as well as my normal regimen of magnesium and zinc is what I’ve been taking. I’ll win and I’ll feel better soon. I might be feeling better by the time this blog post is published because I’m writing it last Saturday, Nov. 6th and the improvement in the way I've felt has been progressing steadily upward.

The difficult days

Even on difficult days, do your best to show up. You don’t have to get a lot done–in fact, maybe you get nothing done. But try to show up and keep good habits intact. Difficult days don’t last so don’t let them turn your life into a difficult mess.

Sunk Costs

If we can’t walk away from costs that have gotten out of hand, we commit the old “throwing good money after bad” mistake.

It’s not just money that gets sunk. Time, effort, personal pride, etc… can all get poured into a passion project and we let it get too personal and never let go when it’s time to let it go.

Let sunk costs be sunk costs. You can’t raise the Titanic, but you can drown yourself trying to dive down and lift it back up from the deep.

A battle of arguments

You can approach business conversations or negotiations as a battle, or you can approach them as a process of discovery. We want to learn and understand as much as we can about the other side and then use that to strike a mutually beneficial agreement.

One way to settle yourself down before negotiation is to focus on the other person and spend your time looking at the issue from their point of view.

Then, when the talking begins, you slow down and let them speak. Even if you think you know what they are about to say, don’t say it for them. 1. You might be wrong. 2. You’re not saving anyone any time or effort. 3. You’re only going to make them feel like you’re not listening and you don’t care that much about what they have to say.

When you let other people talk, you help them feel listened to and you allow them to reveal information which they might not have revealed otherwise.

Reframe negotiations as "information discovery sessions" and seek to understand the other side by having empathy and letting them talk about what they know/feel–while you sit and listen.

I put my shirt on backward today

I was multitasking. How do you even multitask while putting on a shirt? But I found a way and I fully pulled my shirt on backward without realizing it.

Somehow something I’ve done a million times in my life, I messed up because I wasn’t focused on it. Multitasking is an energy suck and a time-waster.

That’s my little multitasking observation for the day. Thanks for listening.

Can you convince someone to give what they don’t have?

I suppose if you play your cards perfectly, are trustworthy, and have some desperation in your counterpart, maybe you could convince that broke man to give you $1 million.

So, the real goal behind effective negotiation is to come as close to achieving your ends as possible and this is done by seeking to understand the other side and gain as much information as you can in the time you have. The other step is to use that information to help both sides come to a happy agreement–but hopefully with some advantage to you (as long as it is an end ethically gained, that is).

The information will tell you what you can get. If you’re trying to get a million dollars from a family that has about $1500, there isn’t much you can convince them of. It’s impossible for them to send you one million dollars. Finding out that limitation will inform you in a way that helps resolve the negotiation suitably.

The opinions of others

It’s interesting how difficult it is to genuinely not care about what other people think about your decisions. On a certain level, that’s a very good thing. We don’t want to turn into heartless, self-centered, blocks of ice.

However, we should understand what we want to do and why we want to do it and tune out the rest. At least, as much as we’re able.

Simply put, you will achieve nothing of worth in life if you are primarily concerned with the opinions of others.

Be kind, be empathetic, but ruthlessly stick to your path and plan. Fail based on your ideas, not trying to impress everyone else. You'll be much more fulfilled and happy.