Complainers and excuse-makers

If you really, really don’t want to take responsibility there is always a reason not to take responsibility. Each one of us can find a convincing argument that assures us that it is absolutely unfair if we have to take responsibility. We "know" we're right in refusing responsibility.

But there is a big problem. People who don’t take responsibility as a default mode of action are not capable of success and they very rarely find great personal peace in life.

It’s not that they’re incapable of success or peace, they are. However, excuse-makers allow the world to happen to them, rather than taking the action required to happen to the world and make the success they wish to see. It is impossible to do something positive when you spend your time making excuses instead.

The excuse-maker finds very little peace because his life is typically plagued with three things. 1.) Bad things always happen to him. 2.) Bad things happen often. 3.) Bad things happen because of someone or something else. He is never to blame. Before he finishes bemoaning his first malady, alas! Here comes another!

The excuse-maker lives a life shackled by the actions of other people. He doesn’t take responsibility and therefore he does not take action.

If you find yourself complaining, blaming, or making excuses in order to “be right” know that your position is poisoned at its very root. It will not end well.

The truth hurts

The truth hurts and it’s hard to take. It’s difficult to listen to. So we make excuses. We suffer from cognitive dissonance and we hate to admit that we’re wrong.

What would happen if we looked at our own weak spots and flaws instead of excusing them because we see flaws and weaknesses in others?

Don’t underestimate your enemy

Always assume they’re the most competent and intelligent in doing what they do. I operate by this principle in business and other areas of life when and where enemies arise.

The sudden strike is only sudden and surprising when you are diligent enough to operate wisely on your end. The motivation to do careful work comes from assuming the enemy is competent.

Keystone habits

Writing these blog posts isn’t taking me to the next level. They aren’t going to land me a deal with Penguin Books publishing company.

However, they are a keystone habit of mine. They are a small exercise I do to keep my mind fluid and thinking about specific things throughout the day. They also give me an extra reason to sit and spend time reading and learning new things. I want to gain new thoughts and ideas to write about.

This writing habit has been something that is far more important to me personally than it is about making any kind of impact on the world through my mindless banter on this blog.

It is this idea of my writing being a keystone habit that I am trying to strike as I adjust my writing from morning to evening. I’ve now missed a number of days in the past 7-10 days and I am reminding myself to keep busting away and setting aside the time in the evening to write a blog post.

I’m probably going to miss more days, but eventually it’ll be a new habit and I’ll be better for it.

It’s all up and down

You don’t become successful and then it’s all finished. Success is not a process of constantly making more money, and building straight upward.

Prosperity ebbs and flows, but success is getting to the top over and over again. It’s not a straight line. It’s up and down.

But when it’s heading down, can you remain composed? Can you begin pulling yourself back up?

What I learned about my morning routine

A good morning routine begins the night before.

I switched up my morning routine to make it as short and fast as possible. My thought process is, “get to work as quickly as possible.” Keep the balance that a good routine gives, but don’t let that routine go on for more than 90 minutes or so.

One of the things to get pushed to the evening was writing my blog post each day. Low and behold, I’ve missed two days in a row and two of the past four days. I’ve never done that since I started writing.

I’m learning that a morning routine is good, but all the focus I was placing on the morning routine was distracting me from looking at my evening routine. A good morning routine begins the night before. Preparation is vital and the preparation for a good morning begins the night before.

Avoiding the quick buck

The major payoff of the work you do and the investments you make is ten years away. Finding a motivation other than immediate success will ensure longterm success.

Otherwise, you’ll constant put the important tasks and jobs on the backburner in favor of chasing the quick buck and the job that puts a little cash in you hand today.

But then you wake up one day at age 65 and realize you could have invested in yourself, invested in the markets, and built a business with long term sustainability and opportunity.

With all your might, resist the quick buck and the pressing, yet unimportant tasks. Instead, make time for the important tasks that aren’t as pressing, but the tasks that push forward your life, business, and satisfaction.

Changing winds

I’m mixing things up and writing these blog posts the night before they go live. Tonight (this morning for you) is the first night and I almost went to bed and forgot. It’s 12:22am and I’m sitting here writing a paragraph about nothing.

That’s changing routines for you. It’s more of the same, but everything’s different.

Save today. Save tomorrow.

Setbacks happen. We get upset about things in moments of weakness. It happens. You’re not going to stop it, I’m not going to stop it. A good reminder is the old saying, “We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays.”

Instead of being focused on never getting upset, it’s probably better to focus on limiting the damage once we get upset.

Living up to our talents

If we can fathom expanding our idea of ethics beyond “don’t steal stuff from people and don’t hurt other people,” we can see how working hard and chasing success is a matter of ethics as well.

I think our definition of ethics and doing what is morally right should include the notion that we are required to live up to the potential with which each of us has been blessed.

The more talent you’re given, the more you should expect of yourself.

Writing makes me think

When I sit down to write something, particularly something that is meant to share information and teach others, I like to review source material and make sure that I have my thoughts in order.

It is absolutely fascinating how much clarity you get when you clear out the distracting thoughts and intently pour over books, papers, and presentations.

You begin to see the structure that the writer or speaker started with. You begin to see their brilliance in the arrangement of the book or speech–given it’s a good book/speech you have in hand.

This is just one of the things I’ve come to love about writing. It makes me dive deeper. In that deep dive it’s as if you’re seeing a world that very few others see.

I hope it’s not me turning into an elitist or a charlatan, but I stop and wonder how many people reading the book, or how few in the audience of that speech, are really grasping the multi-faceted points that the author is making.

If you skim over books and media, preferring the breadth of a matter rather than the depth, you might be missing out on some stuff that would blow your mind.

Remain firm

You can quickly turn a profitable job/project/shoot, etc… into a money pit by giving the client a “deal.” Value-added bonuses are one thing. They can elevate a normal business deal into one the client remembers for a lifetime–for all the right reasons.

But if you overcommit because you’re afraid to remain firmly respectful when declining the client’s request for additional free work or a deal that’s a little too good, you will make a profitable job one that you remember–for all the wrong reasons.

Remain firm, don’t worry about the client getting upset. The most they will be able to complain about is that you wouldn’t give them a deal that only an idiot would take.

Simplify

Use less words. Bring the point into focus. Respect the time of the user. Skip the tangents and digressions. You might feel like you’re losing valuable stuff, but it's all dead weight that will make you more free and the end user more engaged.

Do more with less.

Photographing my kids

I looked at my oldest daughter the other day and she’s changing. She’s starting to grow up a little bit and look more grown-up. The difference between a 4-year-old and a 7-year-old is pretty big.

I want to capture these years and these moments and seal them up to save them forever. I can’t do it, but maybe taking more pictures of my kids will help. I’m going to start trying to set aside time each week to take nice photos of my kids doing what they do. Not the staged and posed nonsense. Just them living and learning and being funny. I think I’ll be happy that I did when I’m older.

Find reasons to do it

Don’t talk yourself out of it, find ways to talk yourself into it. Take 30-seconds and close your eyes and look at the potential success rather than the potential problems.

Leave the distracted masses

The focused life is the best life there is. It’s a life from which satisfaction is derived at a level 100x that of fleeting hedonism or chasing a momentary dopamine high.

It’s a life spent improving yourself and contributing value to the community around you.

To live a focused and productive life we must leave behind the distracted masses, the sports, the daily gossip, the news in general, and most of your social media.

We must ruthlessly constrain our time and be careful not to give it away to every “opportunity” that arises. It will feel selfish at the moment, but if you do it to optimize your productivity and you are delivering valuable contributions, it’s much less selfish than it may seem at first.

Set aside time and sacrifice the next hour to work without distraction, background noise, checking email, or phone calls.

Do that four times a day. Watch your life change and see how much happier you become and how much more free time you have to spend doing things you love with freedom and comfort knowing you are contributing and adding value to the people around you. It all begins with leaving behind the distracted masses.

Make it easy to respond

If you can sum up your email in a simple yes or no question, do that!

I’ve talked about adding a “TLDR” to the beginning of emails or communications to respect the time of your reader and I’m here to say that making emails easy to reply to is also a form of respecting the reader and ensuring you get more responses and better responses.

Instead of saying: “Hey, I would love to get your opinion on “X topic,” thoughts?”

Instead say: “Hey, I am researching “X topic” and would love to get your opinion on it. Could I stop by your office at 4:45pm on Thursday for 10 minutes?”

The second question conveys more context about your project and gives the reader a chance to see if they are interested. You have also set up a date and time on their turf (convenient!), and you phrase it so they can literally reply “yes” and that is all the work they need to do to respond.

Just like that you’ve set up a meeting and shown a concern for the time and effort of others.

Make it easy to respond whenever you can. It’s usually more often than you or I realize.

When scarcity mindset is good

Scarcity mindset is essential to adopt when you consider your own time and attention. Defend them and let nothing steal them. They are not abundant. They are limited. Defend them!

Abundance mindset is the idea that there is lots of money, work, and opportunity for all. This is probably true. But it is not true with respect to your time and focus.

Any “opportunity” that might steal any level of focus from the important tasks in your life should be viewed with caution and the default answer should be “no” when responding to most requests.