"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. It's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." –Mark Twain
What’s been left behind
Don’t underestimate the hole your absence has left. We all have something unique to offer the world at large and most directly to our family and loved ones.
When we don’t offer ourselves to our families and loved ones, we pull our family a little further from the edge of a paradise on earth.
The cold summer of San Francisco
Mark Twain once said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” The microclimates of the Bay Area, but most specifically San Francisco, lead to some drastic temperature changes even a short drive away. I love this town for so many reasons and I hate this town for so many reasons. But undoubtedly, San Francisco has an advantage in the natural terrain of the area that not many places can match. If only the city was a little bit cleaner.
The grateful guest
The grateful guest remembers only the good offered to him by his host. The ill-willed guest remembers only what he did not get. Be a grateful guest in this world. Magnify the good of others and minimize the ill.
The power of simple and small
We are usually afraid to begin something new because we’re not established and all we can do is something small and simple.
Forget not that even the most complex systems in the world begin as simple things. In fact, some of the greatest impact is generated by the simplest functions.
Don’t let your inability to do complex things stop you from doing what you can. Simple and small is more powerful than you imagine.
Syntax and semantics
Isn’t it interesting to consider that we have systems that determine if a sentence is syntactically correct? You can plug in whichever nouns and verbs you like and the sentence will work.
We also have systems that determine if a sentence is semantically correct. Whether the words that are used make any sense and mean things that we understand.
With these systems, we can choose whichever nouns and verbs we like and plug them in where they belong and construct all kinds of interesting thoughts.
Sometimes the thoughts are out of place, totally random, and don’t seem to have much purpose. Like this flying ice cream cone… err blog post. I chose the correct word syntactically, by semantically it made no sense. See how fun that is?
The things that impress us
People are impressed by things that they are interested in and things that they can understand.
We should be constantly in awe of the impressive motion of molecules all around us and the way the world keeps moving, but we only become impressed when something becomes contextualized in a way we can see it, feel its impact, or understand how it might affect us.
Friends with confidence
I’ve been gifted with a few acquaintances in my life who have always shown such great confidence in my abilities. A confidence that is far beyond my own confidence in myself.
This is a great gift and taking the leap suggested by these friends has never been a bad thing. Not a single time.
I really appreciate it, even though I’m not quite sure why they have such confidence in me. A supportive acquaintance is a great thing.
Laying blame
Fault always lies with the one who is weak enough to lay the blame on others. Laying blame speaks louder than any other words and shows the character of the person.
Willing to work without benefits
When I was in my early twenties, I would jump at any opportunity that was presented even (maybe even especially) when I didn’t see any direct benefit.
There is always a benefit to being in the arena and not on the sidelines. You rarely see the value until after you begin participating, but you never see the value if you don’t get off your seat and jump into the ring.
I find myself pausing and asking “is this is worth it” when I am presented with opportunities these days. Perhaps I should stop thinking of them as opportunities and revert to thinking about them as adventures.
Get out there and do stuff. Meet people, make impressions, learn new things, be kind, share your gifts, have no expectations and you will find the world at your feet.
Opportunity
Opportunity knocks at the door once and you have to get up and answer. Temptation stands and bangs at the door day after day.
Everyone else is thinking about themselves
Reform must come from within, not from without. Nobody can convince you to be better or to want to be better. That must come from within you. A sort of spiritual change must take place.
Just as other people can’t convince you to change, so you should realize that you can’t change others or make them better.
It’s a strange dilemma because when you have a genuine desire for good toward others, it is impossible to let them destroy themselves without trying to interject. Even when you know those interjections will be fruitless, there is a deep inward force that practically compels you to try to do something, anything.
When a close friend, child, or sibling picks up a bad drug habit, or stops caring for their children, or any other number of things that are openly and apparently destructive to themselves and those around them, do you have a right to speak out? Or should each of us stand by quietly and wait for the destructive phase to pass and help clean up the mess?
Rightly or wrongly, you will often be labeled "controlling" or "nosey" (or any number of colorful epithets) by those whom you care for. The assumption is that you don’t really care about them. The assumption is that you simply want to control what they should or shouldn’t do. But the reality is that everyone else is thinking about themselves as much as you are thinking about yourself and therefore no one has any time to think about you and worry about controlling you as much as you think.
To watch a loved one fall into a destructive phase of life is sad and painful, but it’s impossible to help a person who doesn’t want to help themselves.
Believe first and figure it out later
We fail more in our imagination than we fail for real. When we do that, we stop ourselves from trying at all.
I am convinced that is the mindset that each of us must overcome if we even want to give ourselves a chance at being successful at anything we do. Whether it’s your sports game, your job search, your dream of owning your own business, or taking on a challenging new hobby.
The first step is to believe you can do it. Without self-belief, you doom yourself to almost certain failure.
Writing to get excited about
I spend five or ten minutes each day writing these blog posts. The exercise has a few goals, none of which are to get this blog popular. They are:
Write a tiny bit every day. (Create something every day!)
Process ideas I am reading about and retain more info by writing about them.
Improve my writing style.
I want to improve my writing because I like writing, but I want to be more of a wordsmith and use words and sounds to shape more compelling stories. I get envious when I open emails, blogs, and books of good writers. They have such a firm command of the language and a creative ability when it comes to word choice.
The solution is to spend more time writing each day. At least, I think that is the solution. More targeted practice usually means you improve your skills.
There is a 30-minute writing exercise called 10-10-10.
Choose a topic or idea.
Spend 10 minutes writing 500 words.
Spend 10 minutes distilling that into 100 words.
Spend 10 minutes distilling that into 10 words.
Now that’s a writing exercise I can get excited about.
Yesterday or tomorrow
Don’t be obsessed with what you didn’t do yesterday. And don’t be obsessed with what you will do tomorrow. Do good work today. Right now. While you can.
Your life shouldn't revolve around yesterday or tomorrow. Now is what matters most. Use it well.
Working, Overworking, and Impact
When we don’t work, we don’t generate impact, or change, or value. We also don’t make a living. Most of us understand this simple concept.
This idea of work = generation of value can lead us into a trap. The trap is overworking.
When we overwork, we lose all the leisure time that allows us to recover from our efforts. In this way overworking does not generate value, but rather it generates a deleterious effect that causes us to create more stuff, but less valuable stuff.
If we could find a way to balance our work with rest and prioritize the important things when we do work, we would find a better balance which would lead us to better results in the work we do.
Working is good and gives success. Then we fall into overworking which leads to burnout and diminishing returns. Then our artwork loses the impact that made it special.
Engaged detachment
Detach from the moment and stop treating yourself like you’re so important. If everybody hates the art you create, so what? They stand to lose nothing, they stand to gain nothing. You lose by not creating and you might gain by creating. So why not create?
When you have detached from the moment, your own importance, your own entitlement, and worrying about whether people like you or not, you are able to engage in what you need to do to get better.
Stop worrying about people’s reactions to your work, but use the feedback to make yourself better every day.
How to make things more difficult today
Yesterday doesn’t matter when you consider what you could do today. It doesn’t matter if you’ve lost the game 100x in a row. That was yesterday and today is a clean slate.
You can take your clean slate each morning and fill it with regret from what you didn’t do. If you do that, you are filling your potential for the day or even the hour with bad stuff that only sets you behind.
You put yourself into a sort of social debt that only makes work right this moment more difficult. Forget the failures and shortcomings of yesterday, they make everything more difficult today.
Reason and emotion
People get very frustrated trying to convince others that they are right. I’ve seen the Facebook threads.
But I believe that much of what people believe in and hold deeply, they have not come to those conclusions–or feelings–by any rational or well-thought-out process. Usually, there is an emotional event that causes us to change how we feel about different things in life. As life goes on, we have more moments that change us.
Thus, trying to use reason and logic and facts and whatever evidence you think you have to convince somebody else that you’re right is usually a fruitless endeavor.
You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themself into.
Hoping rather than working
The less we deserve good fortune, the more we find ourselves hoping for it.
Work to put yourself in a place where you don’t need a miracle and you don’t rely on so-called “luck” to bail you out.