Why rushing makes us break things

Rushing is focusing on the next moment while ignoring this moment. This is why we make so many errors and mistakes when we rush. You’re stressed out by a distraction of choice.

It’s also why we can’t slow down. How can we slow down when we don’t rest on each moment? We have the next moment, the next worry, the next step, or the next problem to deal with instead.

If you hook a fish on your line and rush to reel him in, you put your line under max stress and it breaks. You catch the fish by letting out some line and being patient. Take it moment by moment rather than thinking only of the moment he is finally in your boat.

Why do we always rush?

When we rush, the risk of making an error goes up dramatically. Nobody likes being in a rush, yet we all find ourselves rushing constantly. Why? Why? Why?

I believe the problem lies deep within our subconscious. Too often we’re in a rush simply because we are more uncomfortable slowing down and letting things develop while we stay quietly still. “Better to rush and make mistakes than awkwardly stand there waiting!”

But if we could become comfortable waiting a little bit before we jump to a conclusion or jump to get involved we’d eliminate so many mistakes and so much stress.

Patience and being comfortable while waiting are essential to slowing down and not rushing.

Can we give the other person more time before jumping to a conclusion about them? Can we let the conversation breathe without flooding the airwaves with our words? Can we give the client our price and simply stop talking? How can we become more comfortable slowing down?

I’m not sure I have the answer. I do have some ideas, but I’m running out of time and space in this blog post to explain.

Anxiety and rushing seem to go hand-in-hand and maybe, just maybe, if reduce one, the other would also diminish.

Just keep trying

We learn from our failures. The baby learns to walk when she falls down. Unlike the self-doubting creative type, she tries to get back up and doesn’t care about failure. She’s completely forgotten it within a moment or two. Without a few stumbles, she would have never learned to walk.

Without our creative stumbles, we won’t create anything worthwhile. We just have to find a way to forget the failures, but not before we learn a little bit from them.

Keep trying. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you.

The things we learn

We probably only learn what exactly our parents did for us when we have children of our own. It’s the stuff that falls between the cracks, the stuff that everyone forgets about, that you realize when you have to go through it.

Wish for your ideas to be attacked

There is an old saying that goes, “He who knows only his side of the case, knows little of that.” To be able to critically think and examine any issue requires that a person should admit the fact that his opinion may be false, or at least not as precise as it could be.

When you are open to hearing the critiques or anger of other people toward your ideas and opinions, you open yourself to being forced to question and examine what you believe and improve.

A belief that is not grounded in some deep conviction is a belief that will give way to the slightest resistance or argument to the contrary. If an ungrounded belief is actually the truth, but the person who believes it can’t explain it, that is a belief held by faith. In some things faith is understandable, but in many things, we have faith in things that are little more than superstitions.

Always demand a deadline

A deadline gives you clarity and urgency to get your work done. It makes art better because it helps you publish your artwork. Deadlines stop you from trying to make everything perfect. Instead of being perfect, you focus on being different. Different is better than perfect, but it’s impossible to be truly different or perfect. Different is just easier.

We’re hypocrites and we see everyone else’s faults

We read in many major systems of morality throughout history about an idea so eloquently outlined in the Bible. This idea is that we should not be bothered by the speck in our brother’s eye, because we have a beam in our own eye we should be focused on getting rid of.

It’s very easy for us to see the evil in others and to point out the bad people “over there.” But when it is time to honestly assess ourselves, we extend all manner of charity over our bad behavior.

As Solzhenitsyn puts it, “The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.”

We always seem to make it onto the good side of the fence, but maybe we should be a little more critical of our own behavior.

Be the fire and hope for the wind

A small candle flame is fragile. A slight wind will extinguish it with ease.

A fire, on the other hand, gets stronger as it is blown by the wind.

So in life, let us be the fire and hope for the winds of difficulty by which we learn, grow, and gain strength.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead

When I was in my twenties, I’d use the phrase, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Now that I’m in my thirties, I prefer to sleep when bedtime comes around, and sometimes even with a nap in between. I’m sleepy and can’t wait until I’m dead to get some rest. I guess I’ve officially crossed into middle age and it’s pretty nice.

Don't start with motivation

Winners don’t look for motivation to get started. They start with a plan. They commit to that plan. Getting started and getting committed turns into motivation and a major change in your life.

Forget motivation and find a plan.

Finding the right thing to say

"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. It's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." –Mark Twain

What’s been left behind

Don’t underestimate the hole your absence has left. We all have something unique to offer the world at large and most directly to our family and loved ones.

When we don’t offer ourselves to our families and loved ones, we pull our family a little further from the edge of a paradise on earth.

The cold summer of San Francisco

Mark Twain once said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” The microclimates of the Bay Area, but most specifically San Francisco, lead to some drastic temperature changes even a short drive away. I love this town for so many reasons and I hate this town for so many reasons. But undoubtedly, San Francisco has an advantage in the natural terrain of the area that not many places can match. If only the city was a little bit cleaner.

The grateful guest

The grateful guest remembers only the good offered to him by his host. The ill-willed guest remembers only what he did not get. Be a grateful guest in this world. Magnify the good of others and minimize the ill.

The power of simple and small

We are usually afraid to begin something new because we’re not established and all we can do is something small and simple.

Forget not that even the most complex systems in the world begin as simple things. In fact, some of the greatest impact is generated by the simplest functions.

Don’t let your inability to do complex things stop you from doing what you can. Simple and small is more powerful than you imagine.

Syntax and semantics

Isn’t it interesting to consider that we have systems that determine if a sentence is syntactically correct? You can plug in whichever nouns and verbs you like and the sentence will work.

We also have systems that determine if a sentence is semantically correct. Whether the words that are used make any sense and mean things that we understand.

With these systems, we can choose whichever nouns and verbs we like and plug them in where they belong and construct all kinds of interesting thoughts.

Sometimes the thoughts are out of place, totally random, and don’t seem to have much purpose. Like this flying ice cream cone… err blog post. I chose the correct word syntactically, by semantically it made no sense. See how fun that is?

The things that impress us

People are impressed by things that they are interested in and things that they can understand.

We should be constantly in awe of the impressive motion of molecules all around us and the way the world keeps moving, but we only become impressed when something becomes contextualized in a way we can see it, feel its impact, or understand how it might affect us.

Friends with confidence

I’ve been gifted with a few acquaintances in my life who have always shown such great confidence in my abilities. A confidence that is far beyond my own confidence in myself.

This is a great gift and taking the leap suggested by these friends has never been a bad thing. Not a single time.

I really appreciate it, even though I’m not quite sure why they have such confidence in me. A supportive acquaintance is a great thing.

Laying blame

Fault always lies with the one who is weak enough to lay the blame on others. Laying blame speaks louder than any other words and shows the character of the person.

Willing to work without benefits

When I was in my early twenties, I would jump at any opportunity that was presented even (maybe even especially) when I didn’t see any direct benefit.

There is always a benefit to being in the arena and not on the sidelines. You rarely see the value until after you begin participating, but you never see the value if you don’t get off your seat and jump into the ring.

I find myself pausing and asking “is this is worth it” when I am presented with opportunities these days. Perhaps I should stop thinking of them as opportunities and revert to thinking about them as adventures.

Get out there and do stuff. Meet people, make impressions, learn new things, be kind, share your gifts, have no expectations and you will find the world at your feet.